Cardiac problems

After I was gung ho to get back on track with my health I went for a 6km walk with my family. I came home and had such awful pain in my chest. Knew I wasn't having a heart attack but I knew something was wrong. I sat on the sofa had a glass of water and tried to review my studies of the cardiovascular system and the respiratory system. I was coming up blank and the pain was getting worse, it became hard to breath. I decided it was time to go to the hospital.

I was admitted at 11:30 pm, I was there for a few days. I had aspirin and IV was started right away. I had blood taken 5 times while I was there. I had an ECG (electrocardiogram), an x-ray, a cat scan, the test where they inject you with dye, And an Echocardiogram. All of the tests came back good except for the Echocardiogram, I am waiting to hear what my doctor has to say. Hopefully its nothing to worry about. I almost had to stay in the hospital but I explained how badly I needed to get home to my children and assured them I would take it easy.

Everyone seemed to have different ideas about what it could be. I'm just glad they didn't tell me something really bad. I was calm and stayed distracted until the wee hours of the morning when I sat there (because I couldn't lay) and thought about my 4 babies a home.
I hope this doesn't knock me too far off track or delay my health mission too much. It sure has made me realize how important it is to be a strong and healthy mom.

Last supper syndrome

I have last supper syndrome. It's awful, I hate it, I need to get over it.

LSS is where you convince yourself that it's OK to eat whatever you want today/tonight because tomorrow is when you will start eating better. Tomorrow is the first day of healthy eating, tomorrow you will eat clean, so it's ok to eat whatever you want and crazy amounts of it. Is it ok for me to have a one liter of pepsi and an oh Henry? Sure cause it's my last meal of eating whatever I want....
But tomorrow never comes and so the cycle and the excuses, the bad eating, the weight gain, the guilt continues and everyday I say tomorrow is a new start. Everyday I excuse my bad eating telling myself it's ok because I will start tomorrow.

Now that I have owned it I have to change it.

Food log, so important, I know this, why do I stop tracking after a few weeks?

StartingRestarting the second I have realized I messed up. I ate something bad today, it doesn't mean the whole day long I can eat poorly. I will just switch back and refocus on eating clean.

Forgiving myself for messing up. It Happens to everyone. It's ok. I'm human.

Not putting anything off until tomorrow. No excuses, get back on track, not tomorrow but NOW.

Find motivation. Remember what's important and why I am doing this.